Atheists · Bible · Cessationism · Christianity · Continuationists · Employment · Faith · God the Father · Good News · Jesus Christ · Media company · Non-believers · Witnessing

Employment Dreams Too Big To Believe To Help People Believe In Jesus Christ

Evergreen Arboretum and Gardens 2
Evergreen Arboratum and Gardens, Everett, WA. Photo by sleboeuf @

It helps to clear my head and pay attention when I am in the presence of God, praying and speaking to Him and waiting expectantly for the Lord God’s guidance in answer to prayer. I need His guidance; there are so many questions I have at this time in my life. I believe I have had big changes in my life since becoming a true Christian; I gave notice and moved out of my apartment to live in my car; I was able to trade my car in for a large van; and my low-skill, low-paying job has not changed in almost two years. If I followed my heart’s desire I would want to create a media company that is for conservative Christians, paying writers and videographers, much like CBN but with a cessationist perspective which I believe is the true word of God.

Cessationism vs. continuationism divides Christians, so I believe a media company focusing on Christian views could be a vehicle to teach, and provide the bible in a way that continuationists will take another look at why cessationists believe the way they do. I also want to start a company where I can pay Christian friends to contribute to a much-needed Christian journalism company.

People need to hear the truth. As a former atheist and raised that way in my family, I did not hear what the bible was about. I heard the cliches and bumper sticker quotes from the bible from those who never read and understood anything in the bible; the arm-chair judges of Christianity. That is not where I learned the truth about God’s word and what being a Christian meant. I only knew that on occasion when I went to church with a friend, or with my grandmother a few times as a very young child, I felt afraid, confused and put off by it. I never heard anything that I could actually become interested in, that was loving, thoughtful and kind. It was more like a cold slap in the face if I did hear from Christians about their religion.

Afternoon sun
Sunshine over Lake Washington. Photo by sleboeuf @

I know we have to tell the truth about heaven and hell, but I don’t believe that should be one of the first things you teach someone about God. First you tell them about Jesus who died on the cross for our sins, that we are sinful because from the beginning, mankind fell from God’s grace to sin, and that we need Jesus, Yeshua, who paid for our sins, so that we can be forgiven by the Father in heaven, Yahweh. We can be with the Lord at the end of our lives.

Romans 8:3 says,

For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:

Learning who God is, that the Word was God and the Word became flesh is another important truth that I didn’t know and would have become confused by. It takes some time before a person is able to understand how unbelievers can spend eternity in eternal punishment called “hell”.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. – John 1:1

And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth. – John 1:14

A Christian oriented media company could be used to help the unbeliever understand Christianity better so there is some discussion or dialogue about what they’ve heard or read through the media company. They have more information to go on. It may be a source of comfort to them to finally know what God is about, since so many, such as myself, never had the guidance we needed to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. What a sad loss of year’s of one’s life to not know God, and His Son Jesus Christ. I am still learning, and being taught by his Holy Spirit when I read the bible.

To combat the sin that’s out there and getting worse every day, let’s solve the problem and go forward, showing the world what Christian life is about. We save lives, the souls of friends and strangers who want to learn about Jesus by sharing His Word in a kind way, helping them to understand, not flogging them over the head with news about flaming hell and brimstone. What message of hope is that? It is a twisted message by untrained messengers driving away people from Christ I believe. Giving them the message of hope of Jesus Christ can be taught in a loving way.

We all are sinners, we all have sinned. Let’s forgive and teach people the right way and God can do the rest.

Christianity · Everett, WA · Faith · New creature in Christ · Part-time job · Peaceful · Van dwelling · Washington state Believer

A Peaceful Day In Everett

God is still watching over me.

For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.  He loveth righteousness and judgment: the earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.  By the word of the Lord were the heavens made; and all the host of them by the breath of his mouth. – Psalm 33:4-6 

I feel the safe, confidence of the Lord who watches over me as I receive responses to my applications for a job.  I know not to follow my feelings and emotions because those are not always indicating the truth about a situation, especially about whether God is real or not.  I just believe and He answers me with opportunities.  

Now I am needing a better job opportunity.  As I’ve said in the past, I currently work below my skill level, and only part-time for a security company that 1I fell into, at first working full-time for them as a permanent position, and that is why I work for them; it is a permanent position.  I can’t say the hours are always full-time but I was tired of working for the temporary staffing agencies I had worked for while I lived in my apartment in Everett.

I feel the Lord beckoning me, in a way in my heart.  My heart knowledge is what I follow; he seems to put a desire in my heart, or at least He makes it clear what I really want to do in any given situation, and what I do not want to do.  If I am believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, I am going to pay attention to, and be sensitive to, what is in my mind-heart connection.  It is a sensory guidance that surpasses understanding.


My identity comes from the Lord.  I was changed when I became a true believer.  That is what the bible says.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

My past identity working in the field of psychology has faded away; I no longer want to work in that field.  I feel it is seriously lacking and that is not where my true ability lies.  Anyone can do those positions; just memorize what they tell you in courses, and past the tests, write the papers and show up for work.  It takes a special skill but probably any field you get into is possible for anyone that studies to pass the tests and works in those fields.

What I am getting at is that if your identity has changed from becoming a believer, don’t be surprised if you are led to become something else in life.  This means your job will change, maybe you’ll be led to start a business for yourself.  It may be something you hadn’t thought of as a serious source of income, but let God decide.  He can open doors and close others any time, and I am wanting to do something in the world that I am specificually talented enugh to do.  There is only one of me and I am not a cookie cutter of someone’s else’s job requirements; I would rather form my own.

I worried a bit about all the Christians owning their own company then getting sued for abiding in their faith, such as the bakeries that won’t decorate cakes for gay weddings.  It is a scary prospect that in my business, of writing and perhaps publicly speaking in some manner, that someone, somewhere will become offended, and I will be taken away in handcuffs for being a Nazi or dragged into court for something.  Maybe I’ll be accused of discrimination against violent Islam, I don’t know yet.  But God provides.  He really does. You just have to believe on Him long enough before you see how he works in your life.  He really does.


Now, with the Lord’s guiding me, I have peace that surpasses all understanding.  Imagine that, not enough income yet I feel peaceful about that.   I know I am being led by a guiding angel; a spiritual voice that never interferes with what I am doing and never tells me bad things, but one that has always reassured me and led me to the Lord in all my issues surrounding prayers I have sent up.

If we decide to trust in the Lord, which he asks, then we must make a decision that He is worth trusting, and do our best to take the steps we need to get to the place we want to go.  He puts our desires in our hearts, at least He did mine, to become a blogger while I wait for a speaking position to open up.  Meanwhile I’m getting ready by blogging.  

Since I like to write I have blogged on and off for several years but never taking it seriously due to outside interference when there was no time to blog on a regular basis.  Now at this point in life where I’ve become a van dweller, after praying for help with affording my daily living and giving up apartment living, I am carving a life that will support blogging on a regular basis.  My office is in the back of my van.

Today I walked the Arboretum in Everett, clearing my head and just enjoying the sunshine.  We had a beautiful day today in the Pacific Northwest and it’s a beautiful day now.  I’m parked at a park blogging this, enjoying myself tremendously.

God is good.

Christianity · Fornicators · Gay Lesbian LBGTQ · Gay Pride · Jesus Christ · Liberals · Mental health treatment · Non-believers · Reprobate · Seattle · Sodom and Gomorrah · Trump

Seattle Gay Pride Hideously On Display

Today I downloaded my photos I took while taking the bus to Seattle a few nights ago to work a job there doing security for an upscale clothing outlet.  The bus ride in was gorgeous, overlooking the water where sail boats were out in force catching the breeze.   It was 12 hours but the pay was most unusual; the guy paid me more just to take the bus there since parking would be “iffy” on Pine St. and 6th Ave. in downtown Seattle.  I thought, what the heck, I’ll take the job as long as he is willing to pay me so much.

seattle boats in bay

The pay would be a happy event, since as you know, I live in a van.  I’m not the most comfortable in my Dodge Grand Caravan but I am glad every day that I have it.  I know God gifted me with that because I did not plan on being able to trade in my old Toyota Corolla I had lived in for such a roomy van.

It has allowed me to be closer to the Lord Jesus Christ, because I have to be reliant on Him for everything.  I finally figured it out.  I can only benefit by learning to rely on and build my faith in trusting the Lord Jesus Christ.  As time goes by, I have become more comfortable in the van and have learned the ins and outs on how to live as a van dweller.  

I’m sure there’s more to learn in becoming a van dweller, but I want to talk about where I worked last night, and tonight, since I am working another overnight shift where I seem to have begun enjoying my time tonight, sitting in my van outside of an electronics store here in Marysville, WA while on my laptop and surfing the net.  I’m to watch the doors and perimeter of the building so they don’t have another break-in where they smashed in a window a few days ago.  What a mess, and I don’t understand how people can think they will get away with doing that.

pride cancer care alliance

I can thank God that I went to Seattle and learned how they celebrate Gay Pride everywhere, it seems.  Nordstom’s has a rainbow banner along the top of the glass door entryway; the Cancer Alliance has a huge rainbow banner that says “Pride” that you can see form the freeway, and several stores along the downtown area, it seems, has a gay pride rainbow flag hanging in the window.  I was surprised, and I thought about Sodom and Gomorrah in the bible, and how they were suddenly destroyed, with only a few believers who were led out by angels.

Did all this happen in the months since I had visited Seattle in the past, because I don’t remember so many gay pride flags around town.  Even the weekly free newspaper had a rainbow flag background on its cover.  What is going on?  I think it’s a backlash against President Trump.  The city must be showing it’s in unison against President Trump who is a Christian-supporter and who claims he is one, himself.  That’s good.  I dare say I voted for him, but please don’t hit me over my head with a bicycle lock and say you are tolerant and peaceful.  As we know, it’s becoming more dangerous to speak out and say what we feel, without becoming under physical and verbal attack by those on the other side, the liberals who may have the biggest reason to seek psychological intervention than any other group of people.

It’s a bit much, and I’m wondering how God must feel seeing all this.  I don’t have to ask, I know He is angry and sad for all the last souls who, I believe, would believe in Jesus Christ if they just knew the right information about Him and could feel His love put in their hearts.  I think just about everyone would rather feel that and know they have everlasting life with Him rather than try and survive going it alone while on earth, then finding themselves outside of God’s love once they died.

It’s a mistaken identity on God’s part; they do not know Him, but some angry version, or uncaring person in the sky who throws hail and brimstone down from the sky and threatens them with hell if they don’t walk with him.  How to bring Christ to them?  I am not a gay person so don’t know how I would respond if someone brought the gospel to me, in a loving, gentle way, and then let them know somewhere down the line that living a gay lifestyle is living in sin, that they should repent, seek God’s will and turn to his help for their answers.  God changes people’s hearts, not us.  I think I’ll trust Him.

Craiglist · Online scams · Part-time job · Scammer

A Scammer Tried To Get My Bank Information

blog orange raincoatToday I thought I had a job.  I’ve been looking to see if I can find something that better suits my skill level so that I can finally get out of what is now a low-paying, part-time job that I’m not happy with.  I’ve tried to stay to gain longevity with a company, but it’s hard to stay.

Today my job ad as a Christian blogger was answered by a guy calling himself “Travis Smith” who had a job where I would be posting ads for rental houses on Craigslist.  It sounded okay.  I should have known it wasn’t going to pan out, coming from an individual who replied to my Craigslist ad.  I would recommend that you don’t place a job ad or resume on Craigslist unless you are prepared to weed through the replies you get, where some of them are legit, but some will waste your time.

Today I began the job for Mr. Smith, who I had looked up online to make sure he looked legit.  I have tried to find his website that I looked at first, but it seems to be gone.  Now it appears there are more Travis Smith’s in the realty business, and they aren’t from the same state.  I must have seen one listing and thought it was the only one since I was in a hurry to answer his text messages, for which there were many while I was driving home from a job interview.  I kept having to pull over to answer them all.

It seemed legit and he was willing to pay me $250 per week, starting by posting ads as his personal assistant so I thought I’d start out and see what he had for me to do.  He said he was very busy and doing a lot of things so I would help.

His first ad was for a house for rent in Colorado Springs, and then the next one was in Fort Wayne, IN.  I posted those and he said, “nice work”.

He then texted me a code, “1801”, to be entered into his payment system for his employees.  He wanted to know where I do my banking, so I told him.  Usually there are papers for the employee to fill out where you put your bank account number and a voided check, but that is it.  He wanted to know all my login information, as well as my secret questions.

It was then that I knew he was a scammer and I told him so.  I then wrote Craigslist and filed a formal complaint against him and told them how it was done.  They have flagged his posts for rental homes I submitted to be removed.  I also reported his scam to the FBI, copying his text messages into my complaint form online as well as my emails, and the posts I had posted online at Criagslist.  I told them how it happened, dates and times.  I hope he gets in big trouble.

Protect yourself and your bank account information.  Don’t give it to anyone else.  This was a blatant scammer who took up a few hours of my time, and I don’t feel sorry for the guy.  But I will pray for his soul.

12-Step Programs · Cessationism · Christianity · DSM · God the Father · Healing · Miracles · Non-believers · Psychology · Satan · Shamanism · Spiritual gifts · Tongues · Witness for Christ

Speaking In My Native Tongue: My Tongue Is American English

dove of peace

I’m reading about spiritualism from Africa, and I realize some of the things I learned while earning my doctorate degree in Psychology, shamanism, in particular, were of voodoo roots.  Then I became a Christian, and holy hell broke loose.  I learned something new; I am not a tongues-speaker, and I never will be.

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. – John 14:26

This is scary to me considering how much money I spent earning my Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology, to starting my Ph.D. coursework, only to find God, then to find out that all of the teaching on Psychology was of worldly teaching, without God and would not heal people. Needless to say, I have maxed out my student loans and owe about $225,000 in student loans. I will not ever pay it back, no way. It’s above my pay level. I am looking for a job.

From what I am reading, several spiritual experiences of shamanism came from Africa, by a guy named Seymour, and I know the backlash I’m going to get from my friends who speak in tongues, and tell me I am of the devil, because I don’t believe them. I am not of the devil, and don’t speak in tongues. But that is not the reason for my blog post just yet. I am wanting to clear up a misconception, or a misunderstanding, of the devil in the kinds of spiritual worship that is out there calling itself Christian. I want to be counted as one that does not speak in tongues and is teachable, so that I can be friends with people who speak in tongues who I believe are sincere in their faith, but have just misread portions of the bible and who do not understand the founding father of their religious denomination.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. – Ephesians 6:12

It is William J. Seymour who founded the present day Pentecostalism, and I’m sure I have made several people angry, because I only have four readers at this point, and I humorously say that because it’s the truth. But all of you, except maybe for one, will not agree with me, here. I still think it’s funny because I know what kind of impact I will have on people, and that is none. None of my readers will care or they will tell me I am of the devil which I know I can handle because I’ve already been told I’m of the devil, or something along those lines by someone on Facebook who I care very much about and love like a sister, if that be possible.

Back to my story; I worked toward a Ph.D. and taught college, at the University of Phoenix, which I enjoyed very much. We were not allowed to let students out of class early but I wanted to keep teaching but I had to leave California at the time in kind of a hurry because I lost my house. I then had nowhere to live so I left the state of California. This was many years ago, around the time I finished my Master’s degree, in 1999.

I have more to say, I’m only getting started. My life is a cornucopia of trying to be good, tell the truth, follow the 12-step programs of which I was a member, (ACA, Al-Anon, debtors anonymous, and OA), and be “spiritual”, believing in a Higher Power Greater Than Myself. That’s all I knew about God, and the Lord’s Prayer.

Now, years later I can relate to the speaking in tongues people talk about and speak in. I went to church in Vacaville, California, where they spoke in tongues years ago, a rather large church where speaking in tongues was the norm. There was also an interpreter most of the time who would speak out in the congregation but I couldn’t hear him from where I sat so could not understand what he said. I think he spoke in English, my native tongue. It was not always the case though, when someone spoke in unintelligible tongues, that someone else acted as an interpreter. I guess God did not want people to understand what was said, in the gibber-tongues that had been spoken.

I am saying I am warning you; it is not fun to be under the control of one or more spirits, being slain in the spirit, speaking in tongues, or hearing spiritual voices. I have had more things happen to me than anyone I know, and I know that it was God that was treating me this way; NOT! No, He wouldn’t do that. I have since found God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, who has treated me with respect and guidance, never wearing me down, only finding me slain in spirit and helping me up.

He is a gracious God, willing to help anyone who reaches out for help to Him.

Budget · God the Father · Jesus Christ · Muslim · Non-believers · Van dwelling · Washington state Believer

Car Camping As A Van Dweller

Trying to be a Christian writer has become interesting while living in my van.  I believe we are known as van dwellers, and here in Washington state I have met a few, not actually meeting them, but seeing them parked at the same park I use during the day once I’ve left my temporary car camping site.

I will have 60 days here, so during the middle of August 2017, I will have to move on.

20170618_213740While writing this blog I often use the back living area of my van.  I sit on my chair that folds out into a mattress for a bed.  It’s pretty comfortable, once you get used to it.  I have my mobile office where I can check email, apply for a job, or check my stats on this blog!

Here you can see the laptop I use with the temperature gauge of my van shining in the background.  I have the engine on so my laptop won’t wear down my van’s battery.




20170618_214118 (1)

This is what I see if I look out my side window while I type on my laptop in the back living room of my van.  It’s a screen that I bought from a Japanese company on Amazon.  It’s a bug screen to keep mosquitoes out while I sleep with the van windows open.

There are two of these screens on the big, back windows of my van so I can have cross-ventilation so I’m cool when it’s warm and I’m napping at the park or in some big parking lot of any store I may shop at, such as WINCO or WalMart.  Those are places where I feel comfortable enough to sleep, since RV’s and big-rigs use those parking lots to stop for some time to park and rest in.


Here you can see how I’ve jerry-rigged curtains which are really two matching-grey blankets I bought at WalMart.  I have hung them with binder clips, an idea I got from a YouTube about van dwelling, and they are clipped onto a few bungee chords I have strung along the top of both sides of my van.  The front bungee chord attaches to my sun visor, then a second bungee chord attached to the front one extends the length of the make shift curtain rod to the back of the van, where there’s a hook to hang clothes from, which makes a perfect hooking place for the end of my second bungee chord and holds it in place.  I have safety pinned the blanket longways in half so that it is easier to hang, without draping too long and getting in the way.

After some time living this way I have come across little tips by watching YouTube’s that help making being a van dweller more comfortable.

I’m seeing how car camping will become more common, since I am reading more and more warnings are coming out about impending cash crises, and some are even going to bitcoin instead of relying on the dollar.  

I know it’s going to be hard for those unbelievers who will have to take the mark of the beast to buy and sell, or will have to learn how to camp out and live in alternative ways to deal with a fallen world, which has gotten further away from God in some populations, but seems to have gotten stronger in some areas of the world.  I read how Muslim’s in other countries are learning the truth about Islam, and how Jesus is the Son of God, and provides them with forgiveness of their sins and even eternal life.  What a God we have in the Lord Jesus Christ! 

Addicts · Boundaries · Christianity · Counseling · Difficult people · Emotions · Faith · Healing · Jesus Christ · Non-believers · Prayer · Psychology · Stalkers

Seek God’s Peace With Difficult People

photomania-97d3ba97ac44c9b101bce641bcc0799fWhenever I find it is time to find a new job I like to think back on how I started the job; the feeling I had when I first began and how people treated me.  Often I find that someone in the group was more needy and demanding of my time, who I felt was a bit too clingy, almost stalking me, really.  A lady I worked with who was a Chemical Dependency Counselor like me at the time would come into my office after group when I tried to write my notes for each client who had attended my group, and she would be quite chatty, talking about what I felt were superficial things, like what decorations someone put up on their door to their office.

At that time I rode a bike to work, not having a car and felt kind of funny about that.  I was a grown woman who did not want to ride the bike and would loved to have owned a car at the time.

One night I realized that after group, I really needed to take the bus home and load my bike on the front nose of the bus, and I was really tired of being cornered by this lady named “Mary” never taking the hint, a rather obvious “hint”, after saying I had to get my notes done before I went home.  I felt she was disregarding my need to get my work done, thoughtlessly talking on and on about her mom’s health and what she wanted to cook all the time, and I felt she was a bully.  She was selfish, ignoring my need to get my group notes completed and would not leave me alone.

One evening I simply threw my notes on my desk at work and went home, not stopping to talk with her and just walked out the door of the office building.  We were the last two there and I knew she would lock the door.  She had group notes stacked up in a basket she had not done and I guess when I left she would leave, not having me to assure her that she was funny, engaging, and super special to me.  I would fake these things so that I would be accepted in a group at work, although I wanted to get along with everyone so I could get my work done, and fly under the radar.

It backfired.  They would only seek me out to provide counseling services and psychological food for them to feed off of, draining my energy.  If I revoked my free affirming their wellness to me, they would become angry, often stalking me in a way of demanding I pay attention to them.

 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:7

How did I become so blind to my own creating a monster?  I believe I was a nurturer from way back, nurturing my mother when she felt needy in her marriage with an alcoholic spouse, leaving her feeling hurt and maybe alone.  What did I know, I was only a child but I was groomed to be an emotional provider for my mother, not knowing how it happened.

This also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working. – Isaiah 28:29

Now I don’t want the role and would only like Jesus to help correct this situation for me, helping me to reflect on how I start out being nice, but then get snared into a trap set by the person to use me for their own personal needs.  People learn to like me because they can see what harm they can cause me, running me out of a company, then they have the power to do it to someone else and it never stops.  They feed on the wrong things in life and won’t do well if God decides to return for His elect anytime soon, which I’m hoping He has on His agenda, but we will never know.  We don’t know the day nor the hour, only the season.  

I hope I have made an impact on someone who may have the same issue: who gives and gives and gets smashed by it.  We need to protect ourselves in the world, and be wise, looking to the Lord for guidance.  

As a chemical dependency counselor I should have known that being nice to someone can mean life or death for someone, for their emotional energy.  They turn around and feed of me, acting like I am a drug.  They need to fill the void with something, someone named Jesus who can fill their needs better than I can, better than anyone can.  I only need to know how to protect myself long enough that I can get into a place of prayer and call upon God to show me the way with a person.  We all need to seek His Counsel.  He is the best psychiatrist anyone could have.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. – 2 Corinthians 5:17

For me, it will probably take a lot of undoing of old messages I grew up on, no longer being that “old self”, because we are new inside when we come to know Jesus who changes us to become new creatures in Christ, and we begin to see people the way He does, and begin to value their souls.  I need to make a new attempt at getting space and setting boundaries from people, but with God’s precious guidance at the ready, letting Him lead and trusting Him in every situation.  

(Since I see how I could have written much more for this blog post, I may want to come back to it later.  It sure is interesting, and I can find much more to say about this issue; getting boundaries around unhealthy people.)