My job ended today at my job site. There was no reason given by the client at the site I worked for. Everything seemed okay, until another security guard showed up telling me he was being trained for 40 hours at my site, and would be taking 32 of my hours, another eight of my friend’s who works as a security guard there, too. So we were puzzled as to why this man named Anthony, who was very nice and neatly dressed in his uniform, would announce he is going to be placed at the site I’ve been working at for eight months, usually getting plenty of overtime, as well.
I couldn’t understand, why was this happening? My emotions ran wild; I was very stressed by this man’s taking my hours, and I knew this meant I was either getting fired, or would be placed at a new site.
I sought Jesus, asking why this was happening. I wanted my emotions to calm down, for everything to seem normal, again. I had enjoyed the site however little the pay was but was making it work by living in a van, saving my money instead of spending it and working on what I would write for God here on this blog.
Well, he got the job as it was my last day today, rather my last day of work was yesterday. After a meeting with Human Resources today in which I vented my feelings I was taken off the site “effective immediately”, although the site personnel never gave our security company a reason for my being let go.
Here’s what I think; I was let go because a few weeks ago a stalker, I call him that, did give me problems at the front desk after which I walked away from the desk leaving him standing there, and when I returned a few minutes later, he was still standing there looking for me. I left again, this time going down to the basement, using a key to go in a room where I knew he wouldn’t find me and that I could vent to God and ask Him what I should do about this man. Well I got my answer, that is to be protected from this site where two or three men have been out of line with me already and so I was moved, this is my belief, to keep me away from the strange, immediate connectors who take away my dignity, finding solace in me and wanting a free ride from my emotional life.
It is draining me when I have to, no, when I am expected to, provide either comfort services, emotionally comforting those people who try to attach themselves to me, or who want me to show my appreciation for them so they return again and again, feeding off me like I’m the drug they so want in life, when I know it’s Jesus that they want, but they just don’t know Jesus yet. That is God’s way of telling me that yes, he sees that go on and it’s devastated me in the past and I cannot go on being used that way by men.
Thank you Jesus, you are the only man I trust.