Intrusive People Are Boundary Violators

office bulliesMy gripe is always the way people treat me that have no sense of personal boundaries, who intrude and come across as being very invasive.  

People breathing down my back is really upsetting to me.  It seems that people do not have patience these days, to wait in line, to allow another person to leave before practically pushing them to leave, what is up with that?

Here is an audio about my experience at the YMCA while I was dressed and leaving the shower area.

I guess I’m a more genteel lady; I wait my turn in line, I don’t rush people, I stand by understanding they have to gather their things to leave.

I don’t try to rush people while they’re in line at the grocery store, I don’t run my cart into the back of their legs, I don’t drive aggressively taking up the safety space behind a car in front of me, I don’t rush into a gas station, leave cash on the counter ahead of other people waiting in line while I shout out how much gas I want in what gasoline pump like I’m someone special who deserves to take cuts in line.

That reminds me, for years I’ve noticed that white men in pick up trucks, you know, the big F150’s or some big trucks like that, really are aggressive drivers.  I call them, “white men in a truck”, because it seems to be a mental disorder with these guys.  They are the knuckle draggers I keep talking about, the uncivilized jerks of the road who I can’t stand.  They drive aggressively and dangerously, seeming to think that by driving up to the bumper of the car in front of them that the car will automatically move over and let them by.  

I don’t do so, however, and take my time as if I were out for a Sunday drive, knowing of course, that they will become more angry and do something stupid.  They always do, but I remember having a conversation with someone years ago who asked me what I thought about having to move over and let an aggressive driver by.  We talked about enabling them to act that way, as well as safety issues including our own.  We decided to deal with each issue as it came up because we did not want to put ourselves or anyone in danger but we protested the pushing around of still more of these men who like to push people around, and in life, as well.

God has a way of reaching me in these situations now as I get close to Him.  I was not a believer then during that discussion about mean drivers.  These days I feel a spirit of peace where I am surrounded by the peace and love of God so that it didn’t matter to me if I moved over to a slower lane or just stayed in the same lane and let the mean driver go around me.  It’s almost as if I’m protected in an emotional bubble and He will never leave me or forsake me; after all, that is a verse in the bible, one of many that makes the point of not being afraid, God is with you always.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. – Deuteronomy 31:6

And there’s the times where I no longer am afraid to speak my mind to people.  Where did this confidence come from to stand my ground during times where I would usually wilt and let them walk all over me? 

The Lord has taught me to not be a slave to any person, and to feel free to live life to its fullest.  I do not have to be afraid.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7

I think the Lord has taught me that I don’t have to tolerate anyone’s mean behavior, and why don’t I stand up to it?  

Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever.
They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. – Psalm 112:6-8

Tonight I did a shift change with the person who’s shift I was taking over, actually relieving him so I was going to be on duty.  I arrive a little early as usual, then waited in my car, so I would be on time and not too early.  The last time I did a shift-change with the guy I was a little too early so I could get the key to open the bathroom and put my uniform on.  I drive a long way to work on Saturday nights, and so I like to wear comfortable clothing until I get to work.

He ignored me, seemed to not speak, then when I returned the key and said to him, “hey, how’s it going?”, he shunned me so I knew he was being deliberately rude and shunned me on purpose.  Nonplussed, I went about my duties, let him drive out the gate and then I closed it behind him, but I knew I may have some problems in the future with him acting this way because in week’s past he had been congenial enough.  I suspected he was kind of a snake in the grass though since he seemed very superficial with me with a big smile on his face, seeming to think I was just a dumb older lady.  He’s about in his early 30’s I would guess.

Getting back to God’s teaching; I waited in my car until the time got closer to my going on shift.  He tapped on my van windows but hid, because when I looked around to see who was tapping on the van I could not see it was him, and I thought I would continue to sit in my van looking at my cell phone and scrolling through messages until it was time to go on shift.  He tapped on my van window again, this time in the front by my driver seat window where I could see him clearly.  I opened the window and he said, “I’m leaving now, okay?” while he dropped the keys to the office where we work inside my car window near my lap.  The keys fell onto the floor in my van, and I said, “no, you’re not off duty yet” and “is there any pass-down you need to tell me?”, to which he walked off.

I tossed the keys out of the van window making a point, saying again, “you’re not off duty!”, not liking what just happened.  A moment later I got out of my van, retrieved the keys, and got my stuff out of my van and walked toward the office door.  He was standing by a pickup truck that had the engine running, just standing there.  He didn’t look at me but was looking forward at the gate.  He waited for me to ask again, quite loudly so he would hear me this time, “is there anything you need to tell me for pass-down?”  He walked toward me, not saying anything, then stopped, pointed to a building, waiting a moment to drag it out, then he told me an alarm had gone off but not to do anything about a panel with indicator lights, it had already been called in so nothing had to be done.  I told him, “you know, I didn’t like your tapping on my van, don’t do it again.”  And then I went into the office and put my things down while he drove through the gate.  I then closed the gate after him and went about my business.  

When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever. – Proverbs 10:25 

But this is how I felt I needed to say something, let it be known how I felt, correct him and tell him not to do that again, so he would believe me.  I’m not some older woman he can push around.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. – 1 Corinthians 16:13

God empowers me to use good judgment to get my point across to a person, instead of letting them put me down, or cause me hardship by the way that they act.  I feel like I’ve been through this before, always taking the cue to let them be that way.  Now I feel bold and strengthened, as if God is pushing me on, making it right.  Without Him, I would be nothing to anyone, someone easy to push around.  I don’t think God made us to be that way.  

So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir. – Galatians 4:7

As many have said, we must remember who we are.

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