It’s been interesting to find myself looking for another job. Job-seeking seems to be an activity I have been doing on a regular basis for many years. My background and education is in mental health and counseling, social work and even University faculty teaching. Here again I’m not working in those fields and it’s hard to sell myself as an Office Manager type. I’m not finding a whole lot of success these days, although I’ve relocated to a better area where I may find those jobs.
I’m not really an office worker so I want to build on something that I already want to do, which may relate to this blog in some way. I like owning a business, I owned one years ago in the midwest, forming a 501 (c) 3, and finding a way to reach out to people in need and use my social work and counseling skills along with making changes as needed to the organization. I never got paid but we used donations toward various projects we were working on. I did it out of my heart, as a way to fill what I thought was a great need by many suffering people out there who needed help. It almost turned into a social service agency.
I do my best when I am in charge. I’ve noticed that when I am in charge and have the authority to make decisions I do rather well. I also enjoy the respect I garner in that role in a company, however, as a general office worker I often find I am subjected to insulting attitudes, as if I were a dumb animal of some kind. I recently left an Office Administrator/Manager position at a software company for this reason; the Manager started insulting me and was being mean and angry toward me all of a sudden so I resigned. I won’t name the company, that may be in bad form, but I’ll say I may go on http://www.Indeed.com where they discuss how well they liked working at a company and there’s also http://www.Glassdoor.com. They better watch out, I may decide to write about them but will pray about this first. I want to warn others about what happened, that’s all. But it pays to take the high road and not argue or buy into his bad behavior. It only makes things worse.
The reason I believe that the Manager got mad at me was that I found that the company owed a creditor over $42,000.00 since last year. They didn’t know about it, and when I informed them in a professional manner, it was a few days later that the Manager who I had worked with in a professional way began talking to me in derogatory ways, such as making sure that I would not mail a check “in the wrong envelope” or “send it to the wrong address”. Making an issue of this, obviously to insult my intelligence. I looked at him, stunned, and brushed it off as if to say, “I won’t send it to the wrong address”. With a master’s degree and having worked on a doctorate degree, I was dumbfounded. I can read English fine and I do well with mailing a letter, no warning me is necessary.
I believe it was for this reason, that he felt embarassed that this large debt had been accrued on his watch and under his supervision; that whoever worked there before me may have submerged the details from the Management or the accounts payable/receivable departments were also not informed to watch for this bill, as I had been directed to contact them for. Maybe she didn’t do that and maybe he didn’t correct her enough for her to know what to do with the invoices from a law office, and find a way to scan it to all the people I was told to scan those to. It seems a long time, from November 2016, to not know you had accrued that amount that needed to be paid.
And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. ~ Matthew 10:14
So I resigned, and here I am, looking for a job that has long-term potential, where I will be happy to stay a long time and not have to deal with employers who are unreasonable or insulting to their good employees. It has come to mind that not returning to a toxic environment is wise. I had the weekend and then called off “sick” on Monday to reflect and regroup about this situation before resigning. I prayed about it and asked God what to do. A verse came to mind that a dog does not return to its vomit, and to not make the same mistake twice by going back to a company that is not treating me well. It doesn’t work for me, it seems to have gotten worse each time.
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. ~ Proverbs 26:11
Due to past mistakes of trying to return to a company after a time off, where I prayed about the outcome, it only got worse. This tells me that it wouldn’t have gotten better at this job, the employer has too much power and being a temporary employee would not have held enough status to make this Manager feel he had to be on his best behavior. That is why when I have the authority, I do better. I need to create a job for myself, and that is why. I believe Satan has held over spirits that have been trained to keep making things worse on the job for me over long periods of time.
I used to think it was me causing all the problems, but in each case I could not answer the question of why it was an employee that turned so hatefully against me. I felt that I was being above-board in all my dealings with the employees at each company. I cannot decide why these things happen. Is it Satan’s way of trying to keep me financially unstable?
After all, I have tried many things to try and make things better, such as speaking to a person who is mad at me for no explained reason, and have not had success. They just enjoy making my life at work more unbearable, being disrespectful, not acting reasonably. Ignoring my attempts to speak with them, or avoiding my attempts to start fresh with them. I can say many times I’ve given them the benefit of the doubt, trying to passively stay out of their way and avoid them politely which seemed to make them want to stalk me and make my life uncomfortable. Some were trying to dominate me which I did not fall for. Every way I tried to handle the problem, they seemed to outwit me by getting away with their bad behavior, often in subversive ways that no one could pin point on them. Like scattering papers around on my desk, pulling documents off my desk so they disappeared, filing wrong documents in files to confuse me when I returned to my desk because I could not find forms or cheat sheets I had in files for my convenience. Even talking to a supervisor never worked. The office bullies and toxic behaviors are accepted, it seemed to be my problem.
I notice that not all people have these things happen and seem to enjoy their work, never being the victim of stalkers or mentally ill people having instantanious connections with you after meeting you that you are not aware is happening. I’ve had these problems with near-strangers all too often. I think Satan is involved. That or I attract these mentally ill, toxic people because of my magnetic, all accepting, fantastic personality, or a sign on my back says, “give me a hard time” that I don’t know about. I feel so targeted.
Someone told me about the electronically induced electromagnetic weapons they are using on people to make them act that way. I don’t know what to think. Is it me, is it Satan or is it electromagnetic weapons that are harming me through these people? Nobody can know for sure unless you are God. I’ve decided to let God lead, and I feel a desire to have a company that I can hire a few good people, part-time, and make good money using my skills in media. That has always been fun for me after the early days of having internet radio available online. It was a great time back then but it was hard; many problems and issues caused me to get into those groups where I would provide the internet radio for a cause I was heavily involved in. Those were the days. It was about the only thing I did in life that I really enjoyed at the time.
As a Christian I have prayerfully asked the Lord what he has in mind for me. Do I go ahead and work long-term for another company while I build up a company of my own? It seems I feel guided to only work part-time, and build a company I want to work for, and be the boss of. I can work more flexibly that way and enjoy the ride. Otherwise I can work at the whim of an employer that wants to subject their employees to unfair treatment and punishment for unknown reasons. I don’t want to leave myself open to feeling victimized by such people. Even though I have a graduate degree, they still think they can do what they want because they rely upon thinking that we will remain a victim to their bad behavior.
I want to do otherwise.