Self-care means taking care of your personal energy and time

Being co-dependent to others by putting them first, can harm our health, and why take on someone else’s burden when they can take care of themselves? There are plenty of agencies and people to talk to when people are down, and I do not have the mental stamina, nor time, to listen to someone’s life’s problems. Here are some verses that I find encouraging in the quest of becoming more healthy than I am. I am grateful that God provided them for us to read.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. – 2 Corinthians 5:17
Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7
And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. – Mark 6:31
So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience. – Hebrews 4:9-11
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:6-8

Today I’m taking another WorkSource class online that deals with self-care. I’m taking it because of my application for unemployment. I’m hoping to become full-time employed soon.

This class pretty interesting and there’s nothing better that I love than taking this kind of class where we talk about our health and what we could be doing to take care of ourselves.

I like the online format so I don’t waste the time driving to the location. I’m not really interested in meeting people face-to-face as most people are not the people that I want to stay in contact with. I just like the feeling of having a community that is for a short time, so I get my people contact needs, get what I want from the group but don’t have to stay in touch or listen to someone talking about their lives during breaks, for instance, when I’m not wanting to learn about them. Again, it drains my energy as I provide an “unwanted service” to someone. Maybe they want to be listened to but I don’t want to have to listen.

A certain amount of distance is what I’m wanting. Not having to make a personal investment of my time and energy (mental and physical, both) in a person who I’m not wanting to meet is my point.

I’ve said this before and I say again; I don’t want to have to give someone my personal time, when I haven’t offered to give my personal time.

These are social and time-boundaries. I’ve been a victim in the past of these boundary violations so many times in the past – not wanting to hear what they have to say – always about their lives and problems.

I feel frustrated by how much time I’ve spent feeling used this way.

I hope you – dear readers – can understand. Maybe you’ve had some of these problems yourselves.

When can we take care of our own lives and not have to be beholden to others’ lives where they expect us to always be available to “dumping” their problems on us? Only to feel relieved temporarily, and then want us to listen again some other time?

Becoming a relief valve to others is not my avocation.

Since my rant is over, I pray I do not have to go over this with someone again. Thank you for listening. I’m done now, have a great day!

And please take care of yourselves! Praise God!