Belief · Christianity

Satan Can Keep People From Becoming True Believers: I Wish I’d Known This Then

bibleI wanted to write about my father today since I have suffered with Satanic spiritual warfare stemming from my childhood, ever since I can remember.  I have to say, I have not been able to rectify how I grew up as an atheist, when my mother had been a Methodist but apparently was stifled from all believing during my growing up years.

My father had been raised as a Roman Catholic but at some point, apparently due to the physical abuse by his alcoholic father who hit my father and my father’s two brothers while they lived at home.  My grandfather was French-Canadian and so it is no surprise that he drank a lot.  My grandmother was a mild-mannered coffee-shop hostess, from what I can remember when she and my grandfather met.  My grandfather came to America, barely speaking English, and became wealthy.  He became wealthy by owning a tug boat business and he approached the U.S. government who needed a company to pull the sunken boats and submarines out of the San Francisco bay that had live bombs on them “after the war”.  I assume this was the Korean war, but I’m not sure.  My dad never explained that.

When the government sought help with this, the company they asked said the job was too dangerous, and they declined.  That’s apparently when my grandfather, the drinking French-Canadian, volunteered to take on the job.  He apparently made a million dollars from pulling these boats and submarines out of the S.F. Bay.  From there he kept becoming more wealthy and I remember we had lavish meals during the holidays at my grandparent’s house with all the relatives enjoying a big dinner together.

My father told us that he somehow broke his neck when he was still at home, and he never revealed the secret about how he broke his neck.  Not to anyone, not even his mother. That was one of his selling points that he was tough, and didn’t need God.  God was for people who needed a crutch and my dad suffered two more major physical medical problems that he survived; and so he thought he was extra tough.  He said he did not believe in God, and whenever someone came to our house to speak to him about God, he had to hold his anger in, and speak to them privately, telling them he was not a believer and would never be.  Atheist was his belief of choice, and no one in my family was allowed to believe in God, let alone Jesus Christ, since I don’t believe my father truly ever believed in Christ, or he would probably have returned to Jesus if he had in his life.

This caused me great grief in my family life.  As we know, Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy, and my mother also having been raised in a religious family, being a Methodist, might have been a threat to Satan had she shared her faith with us.  But she wasn’t allowed to, because my dad would not allow it.  She must have given up her belief, or she never had a true belief in the Lord Jesus Christ.  I guess I’ll never know that until I get to Heaven.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. ~ John 10:10

The reason this is all so important is that I was raised in an atheist family, and sometimes went to church with a friend whose family was Christian.  They were not such a friendly family, and I remember her mother and her father, both, seemed extra strict.  They seemed full of themselves, and judgmental.  I never felt comfortable in their house.  I was part of the Brownies that met in their house, and my friend’s mother was the Brownies leader.  It wasn’t very fun, and it seemed like it was all work, such as learning measurements from a cup, to a quart, to a gallon, and what that all was.  When I came over for dinner a few times I had to wash the dishes by hand while my friend dried and put them away.  Fun household.  Not really.  We didn’t play like normal kids and the home wasn’t like other homes of my friends I played at.  Why I went, I’ll never know.  Maybe it was one of my older sister’s being friends with the oldest girl in the house that caused me to get to know the family.

demonsBut as I grew up I knew something was wrong.  I had spiritual experiences as a child.  Not only did I have nightmares, but I talked in my sleep, and one night I woke up and had been sleep walking.

Many bad things happened in my family.  We did not seem to communicate much, at least with me my family members forgot I was there.  I seemed to be a literal wall flower that nobody talked to.  I don’t know why that happened.  As a child I could not understand, but I knew I felt the pain of being left out and not really a part of the family.  I always felt like I was “the third wheel”, and just never fit in.  I believe Satan was dividing our family to destroy any family life I could have had.

This was the start I had in life which scarred me terribly; I never felt comfortable talking to people, and I always felt afraid.  There was always fear about something that was the unknown.  I couldn’t understand what it was but I started out that way.  It poured into my growing up years, where as a young adult living alone, there was a time when I felt I had what’s known as agoraphobia, the fear of going outside your house.

425799_223926521071065_719118926_nI always felt something spiritual going wrong.  It felt like there were demons following me around, but I couldn’t know that because I could not read the bible; I wasn’t allowed to.  By the time I left home I had no interest in reading the bible, and my mother still had let go of whatever faith she had.  I believe now that she must be a “social churchgoer”, and not really a Christian, or she might have shared her faith at some point.  My father died over ten years ago and I don’t believe she has shared her faith nor picked up a bible during that time.  She apparently has been attending a church, since I found she was on a church board.  I believe she is still the social churchgoer and my guess is that she feels safe and comfortable in a church setting.  She’s in her 80’s now and probably being alone, feels she belongs in a church.

As an adult I remember many strange things happening to me that were unexplainable.  I never wanted to tell anyone for fear that they would say I was mentally ill.  But I remember a lady who I went to college with many years ago who informed me that she couldn’t read the bible, because it “made her feel mentally ill”.  That is the mark of Satan trying to keep a person away from reading the bible.  It seems obvious to me now years later, and I thought about this many times over the past many years since she told me this. I feel I know now what had been happening to me, it was Satan.  He was trying to kill, steal and destroy me to keep me from becoming a true believer in Christ.

Belief · Christianity · Faith

They Hear Not

People are seriously over-board.

I went to a site where I post other material and got the comment that I have been “randomly deciding which christian sect is right”, and that “I chose my religion because it is the thing” and “it is from where you were born that you choose Christianity, not from divine powers” …  Whew, these comments show me that there are some sick people out there needing God.

Even if I had a rational answer for this guy, he would not understand what I am saying because he is not a believer in Christ.

Our religion is foolish to other people; as the bible says;

For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God. ~ 1 Corinthians 1:18

It is not even worth explaining to a person who has no ears to hear.

Beware if you are trying to share your faith, because faith falls on deaf ears if they are not genuinely seeking, or do not have the Holy Spirit.

Belief · Christianity · Continuationists · Faith · Falsely teaching

God: Ready, Willing. False Doctrine Be Damned.

I really am angry at preachers who are falsely teaching the schools of thought leading to  the “seeker sensitive, new-apostolic reformation, prosperity gospel, divine healing” and even the “fourth wave” Christianity.  I was caught in one of those being new to the faith, seeking the Lord Jesus Christ, and not knowing what to do to “find” him.  I tried speaking in tongues until one night I actually did at home in my apartment there in Vacaville, California.  What I didn’t know is that I was being taught the false doctrine of the devil, who might have begun to target me years before, for accepting people’s reciting The Lord’s Prayer, at the end of some 12-step recovery meetings I attended.

Rewind back to about year 1986, I can remember, I had given birth to my daughter but had attended many a meeting for being married to an alcoholic.  I was raised to be an atheist, my father had been an alcoholic, and I married and alcoholic.  Seems the norm for many of us who were raised in that kind of family.

Then when I had attended Al-Anon meetings, branched out into several other recovery meetings and groups where they said that we could “have a god of our own understanding”, I became open to the possibility of God being Jesus Christ.  I guess you could say I became very tolerant of those people, saying The Lord’s Prayer myself at the end of those meetings.

Going to church in that false-doctrine, “full gospel” church that was so misleading, I think that Satan got his way when I fell down on my face, in a manner of speaking, learning the wrong doctrine and thinking I was “speaking in tongues”.  But it was all gibberish with no understanding on my part – or God’s.  He must have been truly upset to see a lady seeking Him speaking gibberish, then for years after that, being tormented by demons of the devil.  I am so mad at the false doctrines of mega-church pastors, not letting people really come to know God, but getting in the way of the people God reached out to in order that they respond and want to know him, so that they can lead lives with God’s strength, kindness and courage he gives that we are not capable of, of ourselves.  

He is real and true, and I was mislead, but Jesus has called out to me in a way I can answer.  He never let go of my life but kept me in his hands.  I have found God today and talk to Him regularly, knowing my strength comes from him; my bravery to stand up to the tyranny of people who try to stand in my way and stop me from whatever I am doing.

The annoyances of creeps who want to hurt me at work is one way I know satan uses people to come at me, but I win in this due to God’s helping me to understand; He is real, and is the One True God.

False-doctrine, be damned.

Avocation · Belief · Christianity · Income · Jesus Christ · Washington state Believer · Witness for Christ

Living My Life God’s Way

Green Lake, Washington. Photo: sleboeuf @

So many things have been blogged and articles written about money and earning a profit.  A Christian blog might be just about money and how you work with the Lord Jesus Christ in making money, enough to feed a family.

Many people’s lives, especially those of us who grew up as unbelievers, make unexpected turns somewhere along the line and they wind up doing different things in life than they had hoped, or planned for when they were young. Some of us even had no plans at all when we were in our 20’s, and let the wind blow us where it would.

Letting the winds blow us around his not the best plan for life is not the best plans for us; having God in our lives will give us the best chance at having a successful life, if we watch for God and pay attention to go where he wills us.

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. – 1 Timothy 6:17

20150422_135908My problem is, now knowing God at this point in my life where I’m a mature adult, I’ve missed the years I would have relied upon the Lord Jesus Christ to direct my path.  My life took many turns I did not want and honestly, were extremely painful, but now at least I have a chance to walk withe the Lord and improve upon life.  I’ve had to cut back and give up on a lot of things; a career as a Mental Health Clinician and moving on to become a Licensed Clinical Psychologist.  I did not want to fail at life, only become successful as was the promise of attending college and finishing graduate school, and partially finishing a doctorate degree.

That was the hope at least, what the world taught but yet that did not satisfy my want to be a helpful person, to truly help someone.  I like supporting other people’s dreams, yet I have some of my own that have gone unfulfilled and I’m wanting to do more in life while I have it on this earth.

Many of you have probably contemplated creating your own business and working for yourself, independently.  I can think of no better dream when it comes to earning income. But we have to pay our bills, and making a transition to owning your own business may take some time to work for another company while you plan your business and see it launched and become productive.

In their hearts humans plan their course,  but the LORD establishes their steps. – Proverbs 16: 9

The bible says the Lord determines, or directs, our steps, and that’s the way I plan to go. It’s hard going at the pace I’ve been but I’ve learned to “wait upon the Lord” and He will come to my aid.

I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. – Psalm 40:1 

I’ve got myself into a better position financially, at least, but living in a car or a van is not something I would recommend over the long haul, pun intended.

I’ve got a long way to go, but every day reaching for my goals in life to feel happy about my living situation gives me joy.  I can see the progress and I know that the Lord is involved. My plan is to keep working part-time, then do something I want and enjoy doing for income.

If you’ve got to make room for something new in your life you may have to give up something to make room for whatever the new thing is, such as rehoming a cat or dog which takes time and income away from a new, struggling business venture.  You may have kids or have obligations such as taking care of a spouse.  There is no time to give it thought, taking care of other things so that there is little to no time of making decisions on shaping your life to increase income by owning your own business.  Cutting back on responsibilities can leave time and space to perform new ones.  I have to know what I’m willing to do, and that’s wait on God.

What do I ask God these days?  I have financial difficulties and I’ve lived the gypsy life moving around the country and from job to job, seeking better pay or better people to work with.  A better avenue with God has opened up.  I work for a nice company that’s part-time, giving me enough time to blog.   The hope of building a better life through blogging and other forms of communication gives me great joy, to finally have the life I want.

For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it—lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’? – Luke 14:28-30 

I believe in my heart that Jesus has said I should use what’s fun and I have the skills to do, and make money off of my writing ability, because I believe that God gave me that strength for a reason.  Owning a company would provide time to think about the Lord Jesus Christ and work with Him on my writing.  

I have thought about the things I think He would need me to say to a dying world.  Who needs to read His Word, maybe who has not read it in several years and wishes take a vow to always follow Jesus, and to reawaken their desire to please God?  And what issues do we face in today’s world?  I think all Islam is a real big issue that has to be addressed.  He’s teaching us, His people, to reach out and then tell the people about God’s love for us in that He offers everlasting life in heaven and with Him, instead of punishment for the rest of time.

As a new Christian, a relatively new one, my guess is that I must wait patiently upon the Lord.

Green Lake, Washington. Photo: sleboeuf @

The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. – Proverbs 21:5

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.
– Proverbs 16: 9

My priorities are, to seek God first, and serve Him always, no matter if this means I give up all my possessions and follow Him. Isn’t this what the bible says when Jesus told the rich man that he was to sell his possessions, give to the poor, and follow Him?  (Matthew 19:21). If we are to find Jesus we must want to remove all other priorities from our lives, and seek Him first and try the best we can to find Him, daily.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.         – Matthew 6:21

He said that if we seek Him in all earnestness, we shall find His love, and I have from my heart.  

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:  For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. – Matthew 7:7-8

He is here with me now, real, and ever ready that I find Him when I seek and pray in all earnestness, to my savior and Lord, Jesus Christ.  

Avocation · Belief · Bellevue, WA · Blogging · Christianity · Counseling · Difficult people · Employment · Faith · Jesus Christ

Walking Video: More About Why I Don’t Work In Mental Health

Snapshot 1 (7-19-2017 4-31 PM)

Today I found myself walking in Lake Hills GreenBelt Park, in Bellevue, Washington.  Getting used to my new camcorder, a Kingear, that I was able to buy from donations for this site: thanks, you’re awesome, guys!  

You really help me progress, giving me hope and making me think that people will read my blog in the first place.  I pray for your continued success writing, and in whatever else you do!  

But what I was thinking about in the last several days is how I may use my counseling skills in a new venue, to earn a living in a way I want to, that I feel I am created to do.

Video walking in Lake Hills GreenBelt Park

Of course I am in prayer about this daily and I feel God has led me to create this blog.  Writing has always been a strength and something I’ve liked doing.  My reports as a Mental Health Clinician and Social Worker always got me pats on the back.  Those were what I was given credit for the most and the most consistently.  Some of us are writers, some are talkers, and some paint, some create music or sing with beautiful voices.  We are not created all the same and so finding my way to a life led by God is what I enjoy praying about and seeking.  

Finding our avocation, doing something that suits us and earning a living from it is what I’m very interested in learning about now.  I don’t want to do the work I’ve been doing, that’s for sure.  It’s boring and it does not use my skills.

Why have I gone off my path and for so long?  When did I decide to be worldly, working in a worldly field, depending on mankind to tell me what was right and wrong?  Why let man tell me what I should do for a living to be valuable, or successful in life?  We’re not all made to be accountants, ya know, or doctors, or lawyers, officers of the law, or school teachers.

God is developing me; I know this.  He has a way of letting Himself be known to those who love Him, seeking Him out every day.

So in my video, the link is posted above, I talk with God while discussing with you out loud why I don’t want to work in the Mental Health field any more.  Even with better pay, I don’t feel it’s the right match for me.  I have thought about this before and even created a little video here where I talk about not wanting to go on in working in Mental Health.  I may have said some of the same things, I don’t know – it was months ago.  Where we belong in life is best decided by God, trusting in Him to show us the way.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. – Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV)

Thou shalt surely give him, and thine heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him: because that for this thing the Lord thy God shall bless thee in all thy works, and in all that thou puttest thine hand unto. – Deuteronomy 15:10 (KJV)

I’ve lived in my car for over four months and I am deciding that God has a plan for me, and I will search for it with all my might every day.

I know He would want me to be happy.

Belief · Christianity · Faith · God the Father · Good News · Jesus Christ · Non-believers · Repent

Getting Saved Through Jesus Christ: What Do You Have To Do To Become A Christian?

Meadowdale Beach Park, Everett, WA. Photo: sleboeuf @

I have felt that there are no directions, really, to help those who want to become Christians, and want to know what that is about.  

My experience has been that to become a Christian believer, a TV program, or online website, often has the person repeat a short prayer, asking Jesus to come into their hearts, that they acknowledge they are sinners, and to give their lives to Christ.  Saying this does nothing, not really, when a person does not understand what they are saying and what it meant by the words they are saying to Jesus.

To help them understand, I created a video with a short summary of what it is to become a Christian, what do you say to Christ and the whys.

Here’s the video link:  Getting Saved Through Jesus Christ

I have supported what I’ve said with scriptures and have made a copy of what I’m saying in a document for download.

Download text with scripture here:  Becoming Saved through Jesus Christ

I hope in the event that you have not been raptured and miss leaving this earth to escape the tribulation period, that you will still give your life to Christ to avoid eternal punishment.  It is real, folks, and someone might need this to make the rapture, or who may miss the rapture, but still want to come to Christ.  It is too big a choice to not make and I’m hoping you will understand that this is the saving grace that will either put you with Christ in heaven, and to live with Him through eternity, or will put you in hell, eternal punishment, for not believing, and not turning from your sin.