My blog is going to change into something else down the line, so that I can offer services and products that I have been thinking about and wanting to develop that may help Christians in their lives. I’m having “pet-projects” ideas but haven’t found the time to work on these yet, since I’m still living in a van and it’s hard to find the space and quiet I need to develop these special projects.
I’m excited to say that my job came through; the one I’ve been waiting for, the one I started over a month ago then was sent home because I did not have the certification they needed which I applied for, but it never went active until this week, on Thursday. I wrote about this here. Now I have the proper documentation to work in an office in Redmond, Washington.
Hopefully this will allow me to find a place to live, if the job does go permanent, but there is talk I may go permanent but I won’t find out until after the next three months. It’s hard to live this way because I can’t get on with life I feel, unless God wants me to learn patience, living in a van for three more months.
Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times. ~ Romans 12:12
I know that God doesn’t want me to live this way and I have to keep telling myself that this situation will change; I am experiencing the lack of a good job and so I could not keep my income going, enough to pay all of my bills and also keep a cat. I was unable to pay the rent in full and had to rely on my credit union to cover bills on autopay in order to keep current on my bills but I also was stung every time that they paid which made me overdrawn, accruing so many late fees that I knew I had to give notice and move out of my apartment as well as rehome my cat.
Giving up my cat was very hard to do; I love cats and I would always want the best for them. I knew I could not take care of him in a vehicle. We both would not be happy. He was still young enough that he might not want to live confined in a van all day long. It just didn’t seem like a good idea. He wanted to play and climb on things like a kitty tree I had which, of course, would not fit in my car nor my van I have now. It just wouldn’t have worked.
These are hard changes to make, but I’m happy I can still work and have the job skills that are marketable. This will keep me afloat until I find a place to live that I can afford that is close to work where possibly having a business I can do part-time will help pay the bills.
As I readjust to working in an office, rather than being a clinician in the mental health field, my income may not ever increase to what it used to be. Planning a future on less income is not easy, but as an adult, and a Christian, this is my responsibility to figure out with the Lord’s guidance. Relying on Him for my everyday needs is paramount in my faith-walk with Jesus Christ.
It’s Sunday. I live in my van, more than seven months now, trying to cope with living in the small space. I realized last night while getting ready for bed on my cot in the back of my Grand Cherokee, just how odd it is to live this way; being a van dweller. I had never heard the term until a friend told me she watched YouTube’s about van dwellers. That’s where I learned the term when I first started living in my van. So I spent time last night wondering about the direction my life would take; whether I could build a successful online business involving the media and Christian writing. I also thought about Christian lay-counseling. I thought about how I might bring something more to the table about counseling Christians who want to know what to do in their challenging situations. How could I incorporate my training, skills, education and background into a company?
I keep a few notebooks with ideas I jot down from time to time, looking at my goals and priorities. Little things like what supplements to buy, or where to get my hair cut and on what day. It’s all so hard, not having my own home to do these things in at a desk, or a kitchen table. It’s hard living in a van; make no mistake about it.
As I continue to wonder about life and what may be in my future I also know to keep busy working on the goals I have. Inch closer and closer to what I want and ask God for His will. I seek His counsel on a daily basis and I enjoy having the closeness that I have with the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that if I had the luxury of living in an apartment, I would not struggle as much. I would not need Him as much. I see this time in life as a blessing; a time to get to know Jesus more and lean on Him.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
I know my situation in life is the natural outcome of my not earning enough money for the rent I had to pay while at my last job. I don’t see this as punishment; it is a learning about having enough to pay for the rent and keep a household before paying rent you can’t keep up with. But of course, I knew that and paid the rent fine before the last job as security guard paid me so low that it was the reason I had to give notice and move out.
But I wasn’t happy with that outcome. I wanted to have stability; a place to live for me and my cat and then move to a better housing situation once I got a better job, but getting a better job didn’t happen soon enough. Now I’m on the East Side, and have been receiving oodles of job offers that are temporary, as usual, as that’s all I ever seem to get offered. They are also mostly located in Seattle, which is a real bear during commute hours so I’m not willing to work there.
I have to make decisions and I don’t want to stretch myself in a long commute for a temporary job, when I can work a temporary job here closer to where I stay; in a parking lot at a church. I’m grateful they offer this at no charge; it allows me to stay there indefinitely without paying anything so I can get back on my feet. I am tired of this financial instability, I can tell you that. But I see the benefit of knowing God more than I would have, had I had an easier lifestyle living in an apartment. I can also enjoy dreaming about having a company I can be proud of that is sustaining, and that I enjoy doing. Whatever that turns out to be, I pray for it’s success, and that it will bless other people in some way.
I spent the morning at the park, watching a video sermon of John MacArthur’s about forgiveness, which I thought was really good. I feel surprisingly comfortable and am spending time here at the library in Kirkland, Washington. It’s my favorite one. I have spent the past several days, maybe up to a week, living within a five-mile radius because I am conserving the gas in my van. I vent at times to the Lord, and ask that the Holy Spirit give me the strength to acclimate to this since I am used to being free to drive anywhere for as long as I want to like when I lived in California.
I miss California, and a few times I have vented to God that I could just pick up and drive to Silicon Valley, California, to find a better job. They don’t seem to have as many permanent and decent jobs in Washington state here on the East Side, as I had hoped. I’ve asked God why I seem to be the only one who is a good employee, shows up on time for work, has excellent skills, but yet can’t find a stable job. I know that I have been stalked by satanic warfare, and I know this is what oppressed me the most.
It may seem odd that I am an educated woman talking about satan, but once you become a bible believer you can’t deny all that is written in the bible. The spiritual warfare against me has steadily declined, and I thank God for that. Also that He is my Savior and Lord who has saved me from eternal damnation. I can’t forget that when I feel I am being unfairly challenged by my lack of work in life. I’m not unwilling, the jobs just don’t seem to materialize for me for some strange reason. I know I have further to go, and it will be easier from here, as it has gotten, steadily, in recent years.
It’s been interesting to find myself looking for another job. Job-seeking seems to be an activity I have been doing on a regular basis for many years. My background and education is in mental health and counseling, social work and even University faculty teaching. Here again I’m not working in those fields and it’s hard to sell myself as an Office Manager type. I’m not finding a whole lot of success these days, although I’ve relocated to a better area where I may find those jobs.
I’m not really an office worker so I want to build on something that I already want to do, which may relate to this blog in some way. I like owning a business, I owned one years ago in the midwest, forming a 501 (c) 3, and finding a way to reach out to people in need and use my social work and counseling skills along with making changes as needed to the organization. I never got paid but we used donations toward various projects we were working on. I did it out of my heart, as a way to fill what I thought was a great need by many suffering people out there who needed help. It almost turned into a social service agency.
I do my best when I am in charge. I’ve noticed that when I am in charge and have the authority to make decisions I do rather well. I also enjoy the respect I garner in that role in a company, however, as a general office worker I often find I am subjected to insulting attitudes, as if I were a dumb animal of some kind. I recently left an Office Administrator/Manager position at a software company for this reason; the Manager started insulting me and was being mean and angry toward me all of a sudden so I resigned. I won’t name the company, that may be in bad form, but I’ll say I may go on http://www.Indeed.com where they discuss how well they liked working at a company and there’s also http://www.Glassdoor.com. They better watch out, I may decide to write about them but will pray about this first. I want to warn others about what happened, that’s all. But it pays to take the high road and not argue or buy into his bad behavior. It only makes things worse.
The reason I believe that the Manager got mad at me was that I found that the company owed a creditor over $42,000.00 since last year. They didn’t know about it, and when I informed them in a professional manner, it was a few days later that the Manager who I had worked with in a professional way began talking to me in derogatory ways, such as making sure that I would not mail a check “in the wrong envelope” or “send it to the wrong address”. Making an issue of this, obviously to insult my intelligence. I looked at him, stunned, and brushed it off as if to say, “I won’t send it to the wrong address”. With a master’s degree and having worked on a doctorate degree, I was dumbfounded. I can read English fine and I do well with mailing a letter, no warning me is necessary.
I believe it was for this reason, that he felt embarassed that this large debt had been accrued on his watch and under his supervision; that whoever worked there before me may have submerged the details from the Management or the accounts payable/receivable departments were also not informed to watch for this bill, as I had been directed to contact them for. Maybe she didn’t do that and maybe he didn’t correct her enough for her to know what to do with the invoices from a law office, and find a way to scan it to all the people I was told to scan those to. It seems a long time, from November 2016, to not know you had accrued that amount that needed to be paid.
And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet. ~ Matthew 10:14
So I resigned, and here I am, looking for a job that has long-term potential, where I will be happy to stay a long time and not have to deal with employers who are unreasonable or insulting to their good employees. It has come to mind that not returning to a toxic environment is wise. I had the weekend and then called off “sick” on Monday to reflect and regroup about this situation before resigning. I prayed about it and asked God what to do. A verse came to mind that a dog does not return to its vomit, and to not make the same mistake twice by going back to a company that is not treating me well. It doesn’t work for me, it seems to have gotten worse each time.
As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. ~ Proverbs 26:11
Due to past mistakes of trying to return to a company after a time off, where I prayed about the outcome, it only got worse. This tells me that it wouldn’t have gotten better at this job, the employer has too much power and being a temporary employee would not have held enough status to make this Manager feel he had to be on his best behavior. That is why when I have the authority, I do better. I need to create a job for myself, and that is why. I believe Satan has held over spirits that have been trained to keep making things worse on the job for me over long periods of time.
I used to think it was me causing all the problems, but in each case I could not answer the question of why it was an employee that turned so hatefully against me. I felt that I was being above-board in all my dealings with the employees at each company. I cannot decide why these things happen. Is it Satan’s way of trying to keep me financially unstable?
After all, I have tried many things to try and make things better, such as speaking to a person who is mad at me for no explained reason, and have not had success. They just enjoy making my life at work more unbearable, being disrespectful, not acting reasonably. Ignoring my attempts to speak with them, or avoiding my attempts to start fresh with them. I can say many times I’ve given them the benefit of the doubt, trying to passively stay out of their way and avoid them politely which seemed to make them want to stalk me and make my life uncomfortable. Some were trying to dominate me which I did not fall for. Every way I tried to handle the problem, they seemed to outwit me by getting away with their bad behavior, often in subversive ways that no one could pin point on them. Like scattering papers around on my desk, pulling documents off my desk so they disappeared, filing wrong documents in files to confuse me when I returned to my desk because I could not find forms or cheat sheets I had in files for my convenience. Even talking to a supervisor never worked. The office bullies and toxic behaviors are accepted, it seemed to be my problem.
I notice that not all people have these things happen and seem to enjoy their work, never being the victim of stalkers or mentally ill people having instantanious connections with you after meeting you that you are not aware is happening. I’ve had these problems with near-strangers all too often. I think Satan is involved. That or I attract these mentally ill, toxic people because of my magnetic, all accepting, fantastic personality, or a sign on my back says, “give me a hard time” that I don’t know about. I feel so targeted.
Someone told me about the electronically induced electromagnetic weapons they are using on people to make them act that way. I don’t know what to think. Is it me, is it Satan or is it electromagnetic weapons that are harming me through these people? Nobody can know for sure unless you are God. I’ve decided to let God lead, and I feel a desire to have a company that I can hire a few good people, part-time, and make good money using my skills in media. That has always been fun for me after the early days of having internet radio available online. It was a great time back then but it was hard; many problems and issues caused me to get into those groups where I would provide the internet radio for a cause I was heavily involved in. Those were the days. It was about the only thing I did in life that I really enjoyed at the time.
As a Christian I have prayerfully asked the Lord what he has in mind for me. Do I go ahead and work long-term for another company while I build up a company of my own? It seems I feel guided to only work part-time, and build a company I want to work for, and be the boss of. I can work more flexibly that way and enjoy the ride. Otherwise I can work at the whim of an employer that wants to subject their employees to unfair treatment and punishment for unknown reasons. I don’t want to leave myself open to feeling victimized by such people. Even though I have a graduate degree, they still think they can do what they want because they rely upon thinking that we will remain a victim to their bad behavior.
So many things have been blogged and articles written about money and earning a profit. A Christian blog might be just about money and how you work with the Lord Jesus Christ in making money, enough to feed a family.
Many people’s lives, especially those of us who grew up as unbelievers, make unexpected turns somewhere along the line and they wind up doing different things in life than they had hoped, or planned for when they were young. Some of us even had no plans at all when we were in our 20’s, and let the wind blow us where it would.
Letting the winds blow us around his not the best plan for life is not the best plans for us; having God in our lives will give us the best chance at having a successful life, if we watch for God and pay attention to go where he wills us.
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. – 1 Timothy 6:17
My problem is, now knowing God at this point in my life where I’m a mature adult, I’ve missed the years I would have relied upon the Lord Jesus Christ to direct my path. My life took many turns I did not want and honestly, were extremely painful, but now at least I have a chance to walk withe the Lord and improve upon life. I’ve had to cut back and give up on a lot of things; a career as a Mental Health Clinician and moving on to become a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. I did not want to fail at life, only become successful as was the promise of attending college and finishing graduate school, and partially finishing a doctorate degree.
That was the hope at least, what the world taught but yet that did not satisfy my want to be a helpful person, to truly help someone. I like supporting other people’s dreams, yet I have some of my own that have gone unfulfilled and I’m wanting to do more in life while I have it on this earth.
Many of you have probably contemplated creating your own business and working for yourself, independently. I can think of no better dream when it comes to earning income. But we have to pay our bills, and making a transition to owning your own business may take some time to work for another company while you plan your business and see it launched and become productive.
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. – Proverbs 16: 9
The bible says the Lord determines, or directs, our steps, and that’s the way I plan to go. It’s hard going at the pace I’ve been but I’ve learned to “wait upon the Lord” and He will come to my aid.
I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. – Psalm 40:1
I’ve got myself into a better position financially, at least, but living in a car or a van is not something I would recommend over the long haul, pun intended.
I’ve got a long way to go, but every day reaching for my goals in life to feel happy about my living situation gives me joy. I can see the progress and I know that the Lord is involved. My plan is to keep working part-time, then do something I want and enjoy doing for income.
If you’ve got to make room for something new in your life you may have to give up something to make room for whatever the new thing is, such as rehoming a cat or dog which takes time and income away from a new, struggling business venture. You may have kids or have obligations such as taking care of a spouse. There is no time to give it thought, taking care of other things so that there is little to no time of making decisions on shaping your life to increase income by owning your own business. Cutting back on responsibilities can leave time and space to perform new ones. I have to know what I’m willing to do, and that’s wait on God.
What do I ask God these days? I have financial difficulties and I’ve lived the gypsy life moving around the country and from job to job, seeking better pay or better people to work with. A better avenue with God has opened up. I work for a nice company that’s part-time, giving me enough time to blog. The hope of building a better life through blogging and other forms of communication gives me great joy, to finally have the life I want.
For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it—lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’? – Luke 14:28-30
I believe in my heart that Jesus has said I should use what’s fun and I have the skills to do, and make money off of my writing ability, because I believe that God gave me that strength for a reason. Owning a company would provide time to think about the Lord Jesus Christ and work with Him on my writing.
I have thought about the things I think He would need me to say to a dying world. Who needs to read His Word, maybe who has not read it in several years and wishes take a vow to always follow Jesus, and to reawaken their desire to please God? And what issues do we face in today’s world? I think all Islam is a real big issue that has to be addressed. He’s teaching us, His people, to reach out and then tell the people about God’s love for us in that He offers everlasting life in heaven and with Him, instead of punishment for the rest of time.
As a new Christian, a relatively new one, my guess is that I must wait patiently upon the Lord.
The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty. – Proverbs 21:5
In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps. – Proverbs 16: 9
My priorities are, to seek God first, and serve Him always, no matter if this means I give up all my possessions and follow Him. Isn’t this what the bible says when Jesus told the rich man that he was to sell his possessions, give to the poor, and follow Him? (Matthew 19:21). If we are to find Jesus we must want to remove all other priorities from our lives, and seek Him first and try the best we can to find Him, daily.
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. – Matthew 6:21
He said that if we seek Him in all earnestness, we shall find His love, and I have from my heart.
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. – Matthew 7:7-8
He is here with me now, real, and ever ready that I find Him when I seek and pray in all earnestness, to my savior and Lord, Jesus Christ.